Downe Cricket Club
JON SANDFORD


 

 
Profile

Is the club's token university bred member, as many opposition batsmen will attest to who have suffered his verbal rhetoric. He majored in the application of common expletives and practices it at an advanced level. He has also occasionally been accused of being moody, but he refuses to answer. Surprisingly, he can be a volatile character but I will not elaborate. (he informed a previous writer that it could be difficult to write with 2 broken arms). All in all, the perfect psychological portrait of a fast bowler...if only he could bowl fast
Joined the club

Because no one else would have him.
Current position in the club

Literary correspondent and press liaison officer.
Nickname

"Denzil" due to his dyslexia when he signed on.
Previous clubs

The Combined Universities Cursing and Catering Club.
Other hobbies

Eating whilst reading Delia Smith and Mrs Beaton books.
Most memorable moment

Being out for 2 golden ducks in the same innings. Was called back by the opposition captain after being given out first ball, only to lob the second ball in the air to short mid wicket.
Biggest mistake

Returning after the first dismissal
Ambition

To bat longer than 2 balls and to learn how to swear in Swahili.
Skills

Is able to bowl the ball for a direct six into the stables in the next field.
Most embarrassing moment

Being publicly recognised by one of the opposition who manages a sex shop.


 

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